Delay of gratification is a crucial skill

Photo by Suzette Hibble

Teaching your child to delay gratification can help him in all sorts of ways.  He will learn self-control and willpower.  He will also reduce his impulsivity and increase in academic performance.  But delaying gratification does not come easily and often won’t develop naturally, unless parents and caregivers help children learn this important skill.

Luckily, you can start to teach these skills at any age with simple games that don’t take much time.  Start by offering your child a toy you know she wants but at the last second pull it back saying, “Ut oh, wait just a moment.  Wait…wait…great job waiting!” and then hand your child the toy.  At first just ask your infant or toddler to wait a few seconds.  Then as your child becomes better and better at waiting for the object of her desire, begin to lengthen the time required. read more

The positive power of play

Every year here in Bend, OR we have “The week of the young child.”  It’s a week of activities centered around child development in the first five years of life.  Last night I went to a really great free event with several speakers who shared their passions about supporting child development.  We heard a lot about pre-literacy and how to prepare young children for reading.  But the speaker that moved me most talked about the importance of play in learning and development.

In humans, as in other animals, play is crucial to learning.  When children engage in imaginary play they are acting out possible real life scenarios, practicing skills they’ll need as they mature, and processing experiences they’ve had.  So, if we want to support our children’s learning and growth, it’s absolutely necessary that we play with them.  I want to repeat that, because it’s not just that we ought to allow our children to play or invite their friends over to play with them.  We actually need to get down on the floor and play with them. read more

Understanding willful toddlers

I’m generally a happy and optimistic person.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had dark moments, but for the most part I enjoy my life and am grateful for it.  However, when I’m with a toddler who seems intent on pushing my buttons, I am hating life.   It seems like no matter what I do to please the little tyrant, I’m still fending off testing behavior hour after hour.

Here are a few empowering thoughts, assumptions, questions, and some dialogue that have helped me change gears and reconnect with a young person after I’ve felt frustrated or hurt: read more

Creating the emotional state you want, it’s easier than you might think!

eva_summersaultToday I want to share something I learned from NLP (otherwise known as neuro-linguistic programming) called a “state change”.  We’re always in some sort of emotional state, whether happy, sad, excited, or frustrated.  And often it feels like we’re at the whim of our emotions.  When I’m frustrated it seems like there is no way to transform the frustration into something else.  But there is!  We can consciously create a “state change” in ourselves and often in others, pretty much any time we want! read more

Following the child: How child directed games and activities can create connection, learning, and mutual cooperation

kids_playing_aqerThis week I watched a fascinating video about baby led breastfeeding.  It showed newborn, days old, and months old infants maneuvering themselves into a good nursing position with very little help from their mothers.  Babies were deliberate in their movements bobbing and clearly searching for the nipple.  And, when they found it on their own, many mothers reported that the latch was more comfortable than it had been when they had tried to help their babies find the nipple.  What an incredible innate ability babies have! read more