with Shelly Birger Phillips
Every household with a TV (and I daresay that's most) gets to make choices about when the TV gets turned on, what gets watched, and what kind (if any) of interactions adults and kids have around the content.
Ever wonder why you can’t get your kids to help clean up?
I know, it seems like a nice idea and all, but how the heck do you actually get kids to want to and enjoy helping with clean up?
At first, I didn’t think it was possible either. But it turns out, I was grossly underestimating young people.
In fact, during my first year as a preschool teacher in a Montessori school, my limited ideas of the kids’ cleaning capabilities were completely blown out of the water!
I looked around the classroom and saw three-year-olds sweeping, mopping, dusting, and helping each other clean up messes!
All my life I have felt ambivalent about many of the labels available to describe me or my life: Woman. Bisexual. Wife. Even “Mother.” Not because I don’t have a womb, don’t love people of many genders, have not been a committed partner, or am not a parent, but because of how I disidentify with some of the assumptions that other people attach to these words.
These days, I don’t care as much about what other people attach to words they think describe me. But on this week approaching Valentine’s day, I warmly invite all parents, especially female parents (however you define that), to love ourselves.
What are you feeling right now?
Recognizing how you feel can be challenging. In fact, I’ve been working on it for the past ten years.
I think of it as an act of self-love.
This Valentine’s Day give yourself the gift of tuning into your emotions.
I’ve been on a journey toward more and more emotional awareness over the last decade. And now, not only am I more aware of what’s going on inside me, I’m often able to tune in to others, and offer nurturing and support.
In my teens and twenties, I had become a master of stuffing my emotions. I’d feel an emotion welling up in my throat, but then I’d swallow it down and put on a happy face.
While responding to Jasmine’s comment last week, I started thinking about the different ways I handle behaviors that challenge me. While there are probably an infinite number of ways I respond, I can think of two main ways: vulnerable and controlling.
A simple way of breaking it down is, sometimes, when I feel sad, angry or frustrated, I feel myself opening, expanding, and dropping down into the feeling. Sort of an “Ahhhhhh” sense to it. That’s the vulnerable way.
Other times, I feel myself contracting, pushing the feeling aside and trying to control the situation. More of “Spit-spot, let’s go!”-Mary Poppins sort of feel to it. (Well, on a good day.)