Give yourself a Valentine’s Day gift—feel better by expressing YOUR feelings.

February 10, 2009March 2, 2012

Give yourself a Valentine’s Day gift—feel better by expressing YOUR feelings.

What are you feeling right now?

Recognizing how you feel can be challenging. In fact, I’ve been working on it for the past ten years.

I think of it as an act of self-love.

This Valentine’s Day give yourself the gift of tuning into your emotions.

I’ve been on a journey toward more and more emotional awareness over the last decade. And now, not only am I more aware of what’s going on inside me, I’m often able to tune in to others, and offer nurturing and support.

In my teens and twenties, I had become a master of stuffing my emotions. I’d feel an emotion welling up in my throat, but then I’d swallow it down and put on a happy face. read more

February 4, 2009March 2, 2012

Use your words, Mama! How to be vulnerable AND strong with your kids

I now have great sympathy for whomever said, “Children should be seen and not heard.” Sometimes it feels like the last thing I can manage is to process yet another whine, yell or insult at the end of a long day. It’s times like those I want to reach for an “off” button. Or to borrow Shelly’s patience :-).

While responding to Jasmine’s comment last week, I started thinking about the different ways I handle behaviors that challenge me. While there are probably an infinite number of ways I respond, I can think of two main ways: vulnerable and controlling.

A simple way of breaking it down is, sometimes, when I feel sad, angry or frustrated, I feel myself opening, expanding, and dropping down into the feeling. Sort of an “Ahhhhhh” sense to it. That’s the vulnerable way.

Other times, I feel myself contracting, pushing the feeling aside and trying to control the situation. More of “Spit-spot, let’s go!”-Mary Poppins sort of feel to it. (Well, on a good day.) read more

January 28, 2009March 2, 2012

“I’m rubber, you’re glue…” Ways of responding to name-calling

Lately my son has been telling me some new things, including…

“I hate you!”, “I hate you both!” (to his dad and me), “You’re making me starve!” (when I won’t cook a second or third dinner) and “You’re a poo-poo head!”

I hadn’t heard these things from him until recently.

Well now, the “poo-poo head” is getting to have her say. Read on.

I have to admit, these new things he’s saying are taking me aback. Mostly I think it’s because there’s a level of directedness toward me that wasn’t there before. It’s hard not to take it personally and react accordingly. read more

January 15, 2009March 2, 2012

Six quick steps to a happier family

Are you tired of tantrums?

Give your kids an alternative

Get more connected by Guessing Feelings

By guessing your child’s feelings, you can help her learn a new way to express herself… verbally!

Even if your guesses are wrong, your child will respond to your efforts to tune into her. When young kids have tantrums, they’re frustrated, low on creativity, and can’t figure out another way to express how strongly they feel.

Remember that tantrums won’t necessarily disappear, just because your little angel is able to say, “Mommy, I’m mad!” read more