The Importance of Time Away From Your Kids

I know I’m usually sharing all sorts of ideas for activities with kids or ways to handle conflict lovingly, but today I want to talk about the importance of taking time AWAY from your kids.

We all need alone time but I hear from a lot of parents that they feel guilty when they take time away from their kids.  Let me allay your fears.  Yes, you are your child’s biggest influence and the people they most need to connect with, AND it’s absolutely healthy and good for them to develop relationships with other adults. read more

Creating the culture of your home

kids_smallIt seems like just about the time we feel we’ve given all we can and we need some “me time” kids suddenly need even more from us.  We can become frustrated and resentful and begin to give out of obligation or guilt, rather than giving from true generosity.  If that’s what’s happening for you, my invitation for this week is to take a break, stop giving for a moment, and reset.

See, the adults in the household are the ones who create the culture of the home, and if you’re spewing out frustration, resentment, and irritation, then pretty soon, you’ll start to see those same sentiments emanating from your kids. read more

Setting boundaries with kids

boyIn my parenting coaching I get a lot of questions from parents about how to discipline effectively and what to do instead of time-outs, spanking, yelling and other common discipline tactics.

When I think about the word “discipline” I think it sets up a disconnecting power dynamic where I’m in charge all of the time and the kids in my life must do what I say, or “behave”, and submit to my dominance.

On the other hand, without any “discipline” I imagine complete chaos and no sense of leadership.  So, instead of discipline, I like to talk about setting boundaries. read more

What to do about potty talk

kids_potty_mouth_pm-thumb-270x270-1Isn’t it amazing what kids find funny?  I’ve been surprised more than once by what seems hilarious to a 2, 4 or 6 year old.  And then I remember, their sense of humor is just developing.  Kids this age have a challenging time understanding word play and innuendo, but they do know that burps, farts, and poop are some of the funniest things around.

I’m guessing you’ve especially had an opportunity to witness this phenomena if you have a little boy but some little girls love potty talk too.  Suddenly “poopy butt” or “potty head” is their new favorite nickname for everyone. read more

Nighttime Rituals

73032723When I was about three years old I developed a fear of the dark.  I can remember being terrified in complete darkness and feeling so comforted by a nightlight or a hall light left on with my bedroom door left open.  I don’t remember what precipitated the fear, but I do remember it was real and I really appreciated it when my parents responded compassionately.

Every time they left a nightlight on for me or left the door cracked with the hall light on, I felt loved, cared for, and reassured. Somehow because my fears were addressed attentively, I knew that I was important to my parents and an integral part of my family.  We created a bedtime routine that was a safe haven from my fears and helped me look forward to sleeping, rather than being fearful or cranky about it. read more