Tag: Conscious Parenting

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Guest blog: Eating Together- Make it a Priority for Your Family

This guest blog is by Kitty Holman:

Well hello, 21st century.  In this day and age, we are lucky if our kids can look up from their iPhones to tell us how their day went.  With a constant flux of new inventions and technologies to make our lives “easier,” we are spending more and more time away from our families.  But there is at least one time of the day that can be set aside from the hustles, bustles, and stresses that encompass our lives. Meal time is a natural choice.  We all have to eat, and as a naturally social species, we like to do so with other people.  However, traditional family dinners are dwindling and quickly becoming unconventional. Taking forty five minutes to an hour out of your day to eat as a family has great nutritional and social benefits.  Most importantly, it will create a more permanent bond with your children. read more

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What we can learn from Chinese mothers

Have you heard about the new book out that purports that Chinese mothers are better than western mothers?  I haven’t read the book, but I did read an article about it and I was horrified to say the least.  In the article I read there was a story of the author berating, cajoling, threatening, and punishing her child in order to get her to learn a piano piece.  The child did in fact master the piece, so the author says that her parenting was effective.  I disagree.  I think it’s wonderful that her child overcame a challenge and learned a difficult piano piece, but I disagree with HOW the mother went about the lesson.  I don’t think it’s ever OK to mock your child or call him names, even if your intent is to motivate. read more

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Loving our kids no matter what gets thrown at us

This morning as I hugged my baby to me, she squeezed me and I reveled in the moment of closeness and connection, until I realized she had wiped her booger on my shirt.  I’m not sure there’s much in life that’s more humbling than realizing that to my child, one of my roles is to be her human tissue and wastebasket.

At first I felt offended and wondered if snot removal was all she thought I was good for.  And then I settled in to a deeper realization that motherhood is millions of acts of service, some enormous (like giving birth) and some small (like taking a slobbery apple core) but essentially, I will give of myself to the best of my ability for as long as my child needs me.  I also realized that I should enjoy this time when my child is small and needs me so much, because I know that one of the most challenging acts of service lies ahead–letting go. read more

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The dangers of praise

Although we tend to think of praise as beneficial to kids, recent research has shown that certain kinds of praise are actually detrimental to young people.  When we tell kids they’re “good” the unintended effects are that children begin to fear being seen as “bad”.

Personally, I think all kids are good all the time.  They’re just easier or more difficult for us to deal with based on their behavior, but that doesn’t make them “bad”, just more challenging for us.  But if we tell kids they’re good or talented or smart, the surprising consequence is that they tend to freeze up and become afraid of being seen as bad or un-talented or stupid. read more

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Holiday family time

Ahh, the joys of the holidays, we get to travel far distances and celebrate with people we may or may not like very much, all in the name of family togetherness.  Luckily for me, I adore pretty much everyone in my family, but I know that’s not the case for everyone.  And even though I love my family, the stresses of traveling with a baby are not something I’m looking forward to.

I’ve heard from my clients that the holidays are often more stressful than fun and tend to disrupt children’s routines and rhythms, making it difficult to get back into the groove once they return home.  I’m not sure what there is to do about that except to try your best to stick to the routine as much as possible even when you’re in a different time zone. read more

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