The past few weeks my husband and I have been trying our hardest to remove some of the more colorful language from our vocabularies so that our baby’s first words aren’t profanity. Not that we curse all that much, but knowing children as I do, I know that it only take a few exposures to a word for kids to learn them, especially during the time when they’re busy expanding their vocabularies at a phenomenal rate at around 18 months old. So we’ve been saying funny things like “fire-pants!” and “rats!” or even my husband’s famous “son of a bench!”
Autonomy is the holy grail of childhood
In my work with young people there are some needs that come up again and again. The need for play is a great example. Kids need lots and lots more play than we need and they let us know about their need in ways that are sometimes difficult for us.
But the unmet need that I notice most in young children is the need for autonomy. Children desperately need to be able to do things on their own and to choose their own path and luckily for you, there are simple things you can do around the house to support your child’s autonomy.
The magic question
Are you wanting more ease and cooperation from your kids this week? I have a magic question that will get you exactly that. One great thing about this question is that it also works well with other adults. Another wonder of this magic question is that when people ask you this question you feel honored, cared for, and free to say yes or no.
This question empowers you and your loved ones to communicate openly, honestly, and freely. It can even help you learn more about your children and their motivations. OK, are you ready for it? The magic question is, “Would you be willing to ____?” Variations on this question might be “Would you?” “Could you?” or “Will you please?”
Guest Blog: How to intervene when other adults disrespect your child
This week’s guest blog is from Jill:
I’m happy to be back at AwakeParent.com as a guest blogger today. I wanted to share with you some thoughts on dealing with other adults in your life who interact with your children. As parents striving for greater consciousness, I have found it can sometimes be painful when other adults interact with our precious children in ways that don’t support the experience we’re trying so hard to create.
At times, I have both asked and been asked by other adults to treat a child differently. This hasn’t gone very well! The time I was asked not to interact with a child in the way I wanted to I felt a sense of shame, even though intellectually I agreed with the parent’s boundary. What happened? I touched a child’s hair without permission. Not a big deal, in the grand scheme of things, perhaps, but really, how would I feel if someone I didn’t know reach out and started fondling my tresses, rather than ask? I could see in the parent’s eyes that that was exactly what he was tuned into. I got it; still, I felt small.
The development of will
What’s it like to be a 2-4 year old? (an excerpt from my soon to be released ebook!)
As an infant and young toddler your child saw himself as an extension of you. He had very little sense of distinction between himself and his parents. In fact, if you think about it you can understand why this would be so. Just as we lift our own hand to our mouth if we want to put some food in it- your hand has automatically put food in your baby’s mouth every time he’s been hungry since his birth! When he needs something, you provide it, so in a way, and in his mind, you’re an extension of him.