Category: Nonviolent Communication

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Forced Apologies Undermine Conflict Resolution Skills

Remember what it was like when you got into a squabble with your siblings or friends and at the end there was the inevitable, “Say you’re sorry” and you half-heartedly responded, “I’m sorry” and then the two of you were supposed to “make up” and play together again as if nothing had happened?

I don’t know about you, but I felt angry and frustrated when this happened to me as a child. And I never really meant it, even when I said it. And the other kid knew that I didn’t mean it. They didn’t mean it either. And it took a while before we were able to actually let it go and be true friends again. read more

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More Compassion for Other Moms

Parenting is one of those topics that we all feel very strongly about. I mean, our kids and their well-being is at stake, right? So, of course we’re going to be opinionated about what’s OK and what’s not OK. The problem with this is that it alienates other moms who, after all, are just like us, trying to do their best to care for and support their kids.

I think we can connect with other moms and dads and support them even if their parenting style is different from ours. Well, maybe not if it’s TOO different 🙂 but you know what I mean. I am an attachment parenting, cloth diapering, elimination communication, extended breastfeeding, Montessori at home, work from home mom who uses positive redirection and gentle discipline rather than punitive discipline. But does that mean I can only be friends with parents who are exactly the same as me? No way! read more

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News flash: It’s OK to fight in front of the kids (as long as you also do this)

Did you know it could actually be beneficial to kids to see their parents fight? Well, it’s not actually the fighting itself that is beneficial, but if children witness their parents having an argument and then resolving the conflict, they are just as happy as they would be watching their parents have a friendly discussion!

I know, I’m just as shocked as you are. I bought into all that stuff about not letting the kids see you fight, just like everyone else. But the problem with taking your argument into the other room is that children are left knowing their parents are upset, but they have no idea how the situation was resolved. On the other hand, if they can witness the conflict AND it’s resolution, children are learning how to resolve conflicts, which is a pretty important skill for everyone. read more

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Playing with power

Well, it has happened.  My sweet baby is already becoming a willful toddler.  The past week or so has been filled with frustrating moments for her and for anyone near her.  She has begun to whine.  She is clinging to us like she thinks we’ll disappear if we’re out of her sight.  And of course, she’s also starting to walk.

Learning to walk and talk are HUGE developmental milestones for a baby and with the new development comes an equally big emotional response.  Tears and frustration abound as we humans learn new skills and reach new levels of development.  And it’s not just babies who experience the emotional ride of learning new skills.  Children and adults of all ages have the same big feelings.  When we reach a goal, there’s often a big emotional high and an accompanying let down. read more

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Back to school separation anxiety

School is starting! What an exciting and stressful time. You’re probably rushing around purchasing school supplies and wondering how your child will separate at the door. Or maybe school has already started and your child is in the throws of separation anxiety, completely freaking out when you leave. Be assured, the transition can and will go smoothly, it’s just a matter of time and technique.

Transitions are almost always challenging for young people and that goes for both large and small transitions. Moving from bath time to bed can produce a lot of upset, so it makes sense that starting back to school (or starting school for the first time) would also cause some emotional ripples. read more

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