Between 2 and 4 years old most young people begin to develop their sense of order. This is the time when your child will become exasperated if you say the wrong word during story time or if you move her artwork or put away his toy before he was finished playing with it. It can be a difficult time for parents and caregivers alike, because in the past your little one didn’t even notice when you put away his toys. Now everything starts to become a negotiation because along with a sense of order, a stronger will and resulting tantrums also mark this stage of development.
Autonomy is the holy grail of childhood
In my work with young people there are some needs that come up again and again. The need for play is a great example. Kids need lots and lots more play than we need and they let us know about their need in ways that are sometimes difficult for us.
But the unmet need that I notice most in young children is the need for autonomy. Children desperately need to be able to do things on their own and to choose their own path and luckily for you, there are simple things you can do around the house to support your child’s autonomy.
The magic question
Are you wanting more ease and cooperation from your kids this week? I have a magic question that will get you exactly that. One great thing about this question is that it also works well with other adults. Another wonder of this magic question is that when people ask you this question you feel honored, cared for, and free to say yes or no.
This question empowers you and your loved ones to communicate openly, honestly, and freely. It can even help you learn more about your children and their motivations. OK, are you ready for it? The magic question is, “Would you be willing to ____?” Variations on this question might be “Would you?” “Could you?” or “Will you please?”