Category: Conscious parenting

Posted on

Storytelling, it’s more important than you think

Whenever the same idea comes up again and again in my life, I try my best to pay attention.  For me, the fact that I’ve heard the same thing said in different ways a bunch of times, especially over a short period of time, means that there’s something special I need to pay attention to.  This belief has served me well over the years and brought some interesting insights.

This week the concept that keeps popping up is that the ability to tell a cohesive narrative about our lives makes all the difference in attachment and parenting.  I first read the idea in “Parenting from the Inside Out” by Siegel and Hartzell and then just moments ago, I saw a video on facebook about the exact same concept.  Coincidence?  I think not. read more

Posted on

The truth about separation anxiety

OK, I’ll admit it, when I was a preschool teacher I used to shake my head at the moms who had such a hard time leaving their child.  It seemed obvious to me that by prolonging their goodbyes and furrowing their brows they were only escalating their child’s separation anxiety.  If they would just leave swiftly, their child would settle in and enjoy the day much sooner!

Now that I have my own child, I definitely have more compassion for those moms.  It’s so hard to leave sometimes!  And when your little one is clinging to you and asking you to stay, I imagine it’s almost impossible to walk away. read more

Posted on

The trouble with texting

Last night as I was mindlessly flipping through television channels trying to find something interesting I happened upon a show in which young children were being interviewed by a journalist while their parents watched from a room nearby.  The kids were between the ages of three years old and six years old and the journalist was asking them about cell phones and texting.

“Do your parents ever text?” she asked.  The children nodded wildly and raised their hands to speak.  One little boy talked about how his mom was “always texting, texting, texting.”  Another child shared how she hates it when her mom takes phone calls instead of playing with her.  One child shouted, “I wish phones were never invented!” And another little girl talked about how she sometimes plays with six or seven toys at once because she likes to “multi-task” just like her Daddy.  Whoa. read more

Posted on

Loving our kids no matter what gets thrown at us

This morning as I hugged my baby to me, she squeezed me and I reveled in the moment of closeness and connection, until I realized she had wiped her booger on my shirt.  I’m not sure there’s much in life that’s more humbling than realizing that to my child, one of my roles is to be her human tissue and wastebasket.

At first I felt offended and wondered if snot removal was all she thought I was good for.  And then I settled in to a deeper realization that motherhood is millions of acts of service, some enormous (like giving birth) and some small (like taking a slobbery apple core) but essentially, I will give of myself to the best of my ability for as long as my child needs me.  I also realized that I should enjoy this time when my child is small and needs me so much, because I know that one of the most challenging acts of service lies ahead–letting go. read more

Posted on

The dangers of praise

Although we tend to think of praise as beneficial to kids, recent research has shown that certain kinds of praise are actually detrimental to young people.  When we tell kids they’re “good” the unintended effects are that children begin to fear being seen as “bad”.

Personally, I think all kids are good all the time.  They’re just easier or more difficult for us to deal with based on their behavior, but that doesn’t make them “bad”, just more challenging for us.  But if we tell kids they’re good or talented or smart, the surprising consequence is that they tend to freeze up and become afraid of being seen as bad or un-talented or stupid. read more

Proudly powered by WordPress