The upside of anger

OK, I’ll admit it, I haven’t seen the movie, The Upside of Anger, but I have experienced the benefits of anger for myself.  I know it sounds strange, but hear me out.

As a young child I was terrified of anger.  I was pretty much convinced that anger was the exact opposite of love and I did whatever I could to avoid the wrath of my parents.  My theory about anger was proven right when I saw my parents who were often angry at each other eventually stop loving each other and divorce.  So I resolved never to induce anger in others and also never to express it.  You see, I’m all about the love and since anger was the opposite of love it had to go. read more

Tired of hearing NO!? Help your kids say YES!

Photo by Suzette Hibble

The other day I was chatting with a friend and she was complaining that whenever she sees her niece all she remembers from the experience is lack of cooperation and a seeming mantra of “No! No! No!”  Her sister follows her niece around asking questions like “how about this?” or “what about that?”  And the constant refrain is, “no, no, no.”

Wow, can I relate.  I do not enjoy hearing “no” so in my work with kids I’ve learned some great strategies to avoid and get around the “no.”  And then at other times, I’ve chosen to accept the no by tuning in to the yes behind the no.  If you think about it, there’s always something we’re saying yes to, and often it’s related to the thing we’re saying no to.  For instance, when I say no to a candy bar, I’m saying yes to my health and well-being. read more

How to be in charge and stay connected

As part of launching our Perspectives on Feelings audio program, Shelly and I asked for your questions related to feelings, so we could get a discussion going around the topic. You might have seen our video blogs the last few weeks.

I’m giving the camera a rest and going back to the old familiar keyboard this week. One of you asked, “My son’s a wiggler. Sometimes I need to use force to put him in diapers, into a car seat, or other places. What do you recommend?”

Here are some things to keep in mind: read more