The trouble with texting

Last night as I was mindlessly flipping through television channels trying to find something interesting I happened upon a show in which young children were being interviewed by a journalist while their parents watched from a room nearby.  The kids were between the ages of three years old and six years old and the journalist was asking them about cell phones and texting.

“Do your parents ever text?” she asked.  The children nodded wildly and raised their hands to speak.  One little boy talked about how his mom was “always texting, texting, texting.”  Another child shared how she hates it when her mom takes phone calls instead of playing with her.  One child shouted, “I wish phones were never invented!” And another little girl talked about how she sometimes plays with six or seven toys at once because she likes to “multi-task” just like her Daddy.  Whoa. read more

Loving our kids no matter what gets thrown at us

This morning as I hugged my baby to me, she squeezed me and I reveled in the moment of closeness and connection, until I realized she had wiped her booger on my shirt.  I’m not sure there’s much in life that’s more humbling than realizing that to my child, one of my roles is to be her human tissue and wastebasket.

At first I felt offended and wondered if snot removal was all she thought I was good for.  And then I settled in to a deeper realization that motherhood is millions of acts of service, some enormous (like giving birth) and some small (like taking a slobbery apple core) but essentially, I will give of myself to the best of my ability for as long as my child needs me.  I also realized that I should enjoy this time when my child is small and needs me so much, because I know that one of the most challenging acts of service lies ahead–letting go. read more

The dangers of praise

Although we tend to think of praise as beneficial to kids, recent research has shown that certain kinds of praise are actually detrimental to young people.  When we tell kids they’re “good” the unintended effects are that children begin to fear being seen as “bad”.

Personally, I think all kids are good all the time.  They’re just easier or more difficult for us to deal with based on their behavior, but that doesn’t make them “bad”, just more challenging for us.  But if we tell kids they’re good or talented or smart, the surprising consequence is that they tend to freeze up and become afraid of being seen as bad or un-talented or stupid. read more

The importance of observation

When it comes to babies, at my core, I am a scientist.  The process children go through as they transform from a fetus into a walking talking human child in just the first 2 years of life fascinates me.  It’s absolutely incredible really.  As a scientist, I want to understand all I can about this amazing process.  And if there’s one thing I’ve learned that is the same in both my scientific and my Montessori backgrounds, it’s that observation is the key to understanding child development. read more

The magic question

Are you wanting more ease and cooperation from your kids this week?  I have a magic question that will get you exactly that.  One great thing about this question is that it also works well with other adults.   Another wonder of this magic question is that when people ask you this question you feel honored, cared for, and free to say yes or no.

This question empowers you and your loved ones to communicate openly, honestly, and freely.  It can even help you learn more about your children and their motivations.  OK, are you ready for it?  The magic question is, “Would you be willing to ____?”  Variations on this question might be “Would you?” “Could you?” or “Will you please?” read more