Jill, Author at Awake Parent

September 15, 2010July 30, 2010

Guest Blog: Family mediation- the power of the “third side”

Thomas-Hands-web

This week’s guest blog is from Jill:

Sometimes we think fighting is just “what kids (or adults) do,” rather than a way we engage when our needs aren’t getting met. I prefer to think of engaging peacefully as “what we do,” and that when we get off track, we can use a hand to get back to a place of connection.

I remember when my son was about three, his dad was in a bread-making phase. Sometimes I liked the results, and sometimes I didn’t. While at the local farmer’s market, my son and I found a particularly yummy loaf of walnut bread, and brought it home discreetly. When his dad saw it, he became incredulous. read more

August 18, 2010July 30, 2010

Guest Blog: How to intervene when other adults disrespect your child

eye child This week’s guest blog is from Jill:

I’m happy to be back at AwakeParent.com as a guest blogger today. I wanted to share with you some thoughts on dealing with other adults in your life who interact with your children. As parents striving for greater consciousness, I have found it can sometimes be painful when other adults interact with our precious children in ways that don’t support the experience we’re trying so hard to create.

At times, I have both asked and been asked by other adults to treat a child differently. This hasn’t gone very well! The time I was asked not to interact with a child in the way I wanted to I felt a sense of shame, even though intellectually I agreed with the parent’s boundary. What happened? I touched a child’s hair without permission. Not a big deal, in the grand scheme of things, perhaps, but really, how would I feel if someone I didn’t know reach out and started fondling my tresses, rather than ask? I could see in the parent’s eyes that that was exactly what he was tuned into. I got it; still, I felt small. read more

February 11, 2010March 3, 2012

Endings and Beginnings

Jill says goodbye, and reflects on her time with Awake Parent; Shelly has some big news and muses on the future.

January 27, 2010March 3, 2012

The taking-it-personally vortex

It's hard not to take certain things kids say personally. I might be smiling, but I'm just an inch away from the taking-it-personally vortex.

January 4, 2010March 3, 2012

What Do You Really Need in The New Year?

Happy Gregorian New Year! Whatever calendar we may observe as part of our many traditions, the popularity and ubiquity of the Gregorian New Year offers us a time to reflect, regroup and realign with what we want most.

This past October, as part of my year-long program studying Nonviolent Communication (NVC) mediation, I went on one of three retreats. I got to deepen my NVC skills, learn new ways of approaching mediation, and make many wonderful connections with other mediators.

One powerful demonstration stood out in my mind. John Kinyon, one of my mentors, stood with one foot in front of the other. He said he was about to recall something he was upset or angry about, and to think of it in “jackal” or judgmental terms, such as “that person’s a jerk,” (or bad, or wrong or similar). He did so, and asked a volunteer to attempt to push him off balance. John got knocked over quite easily. read more