I know it sounds like an outrageous claim, but the truth is that kids always have a positive intention behind EVERY action. Even when he’s smearing peanut butter all over your computer keyboard, or convincing his little sister to eat dog food he has a positive intention. And when she’s cutting her hair, coloring on the walls with crayons, or purposely waking up the baby, even then, she has a positive intention.
Kids, just like the rest of us, are just trying to get their needs met. They may not always have the most effective strategies for getting what they want, but they’re always doing their best and responding to the world around them.
When I worked in Montessori schools I was consistently amazed at how happy, engaged, and capable the kids in my class were. This got me thinking, “If kids can be this self-sufficient and joyful in a classroom, then why not at home too?!” I’ve noticed that young people often feel frustration at living in a an adult-centered world. I can remember feeling irritated about not being able to see over the counter, or out the car window (before the advent of booster seats).