I’ve been doing some online research into discipline and wow, there’s a lot of misleading and just plain ineffective information out there! Just yesterday I saw an article that was actually quite disturbing to me. The article suggested a lot of punitive discipline but the one that really struck me was the idea of creating a “consequences jar” and when a child misbehaved, just going over to the jar and pulling out a random consequence and applying it to the child. Whoa. This is not only ineffective; it’s just plain mean. I don’t want my child to be afraid of doing the wrong thing and then forced to make up for it by performing some random task.
Tender Transitions
In life there are big transitions, little transitions and everything in between but there’s one thing you can be sure of, there WILL be transitions. Shifting from one thing to the next is challenging for children and adults alike, especially when the transition wasn’t their idea.
I’m in the midst of a big transition right now. We are so fortunate to have my husband’s parents living here full time and being active participants in caring for our daughter. And if you’re thinking we’re the luckiest people ever, then get ready for more, because we ALSO have my mom and step dad here for six months of the year! It is SO incredibly helpful to have so many people adoring and caring for Julia, but there’s a dark side to this beautiful gift too. My parents leave and are gone for six months of the year.
Sex Positive Parenting
Wow, I’m feeling some anxiety after just writing the title to this article. We have such a strange relationship to sex, here in the U.S. I mean, we’re parents, right? So obviously we’ve HAD sex in the past, yet now that we have children, there is such a social stigma to talking about sex around children or with our kids. I get it. We want to be responsible and not burden our kids with information that’s inappropriate or confusing for them. And we certainly want to avoid even the possibility of any sexual abuse.
Noticing your child’s signals about next developmental steps
A friend and I were talking the other day and she mentioned that one of her biggest challenges with providing activities for her children is knowing where they’re at developmentally. I can relate. Figuring out which activities will be engaging and challenging without being frustrating for kids can be a confusing undertaking. So here are some of the questions I ask myself as I’m preparing Montessori activities for my daughter to do at home.
1) What topic or skill is she most interested in right now?
Am I a breastfeeding activist?
I’m not sure exactly what’s going on here, but every time I breastfeed my 16 month old in public I feel like some kind of breastfeeding activist. I think it’s because I so rarely (almost never) see other moms out doing the same thing. I almost always get someone’s attention when I plop down on a park bench or on a chair in a local store and nurse.
Just the other day I was shopping with my daughter when she asked for “milk please.” I didn’t hesitate to find the nearest chair and claim is as ours for the moment. The other people in the store seemed uncomfortable and avoided us, but that was fine with me. I don’t need privacy to nurse, but I also don’t mind it.