How to Write an Effective Vision

So last week I shared my list of intentions for 2013 and I also shared that simply setting intentions is not enough to really make the changes you’re wanting. I recommended turning that list of intentions into a Vision with these qualities:

1)   Everything is stated in the positive (no exceptions).

2)   It is written in present tense, as if all of this is already true.

3)   It is a narrative and when you read it you truly FEEL how you will feel when you accomplish the goals within.

4)   You MUST share your vision with at least three people. read more

Setting Intentions for the New Year

The end of 2012 is sneaking up on us, we have just two and a half weeks left of this year! I’ve been busy entering data from the year into my accounting spreadsheets and preparing for taxes. But as the year comes to an end, I think it’s only natural to look toward the coming year and set some intentions.

I don’t like to call them “New Year’s Resolutions” as that phrase brings up memories of failed attempts to make a change, over zealous lifestyle changes that last a couple of weeks, and broken promises to myself. Yuck! read more

The Santa Conversation

My daughter is two years old and I’ve been fretting about the Santa conversation. I’m clear that I don’t want to lie to her. I remember feeling betrayed and angry when I realized that Santa is mythical. And I’d like to save my daughter from that same break of trust.

On the other hand, I do believe in magic. I love fantasy play and we already talk a lot about dragons, read stories in which animals speak and play imaginary games.

Since she’s just two, we’re just beginning to have conversations about what’s “real” and what’s “imaginary.” Julia will often ask if something is “real or dead” as the distinctions between alive, dead, real, and imaginary are tricky ones. Just last week we had a philosophical discussion about how a doll can’t get hurt because she’s not a “real” baby. But my husband was quick to point out that she is a real doll! It’s all very complex. read more

Sharing Your Kids With Your Ex During the Holidays

Divorce, it’s not a topic we usually think of when we’re considering holiday plans, but for children whose parents live separately, holidays can be both wonderful and complicated.

I know they were for me.

My parents divorced when I was five and optimist that I am, I could be heard saying things like, “I’m glad my parents are divorced, now they don’t fight so much!” or, “I get two birthdays, two Christmases, and about four Thanksgiving dinners!”

But the truth is, it was hard for me, even though I never would have admitted that at the time. read more